When we bask in hollow praise and encourage sucking up. It’s that simple.
Now most people don’t encourage sucking up knowingly. But that’s no excuse. To be a good leader, one has to consciously avoid the practice. This is hard.
Marshall Goldsmith describes his Favoritism Test in an article in the current issue of strategy+business (free subscription required)…
I ask a group of leaders: “How many of you own a dog that you love?” Big smiles cross the executives’ faces as they wave their hands in the air. They beam as they tell me the names of their faithful hounds.
Then we have a contest. I ask them, “At home, who gets most of your unabashed affection? Is it (a) your husband, wife, or partner; (b) your kids; or (c) your dog?” More than 80 percent of the time, the winner is the dog.
I then ask the executives if they love their dogs more than their family members. The answer is always a resounding no. My follow-up: “So why does the dog get most of your attention?”
Their replies all sound the same: “The dog is always happy to see me.” “The dog never talks back.” “The dog gives me unconditional love.” In other words, the dog is a suck-up.
So what’s the solution? Become aware of the bias. This quick self-analysis alone won’t solve the problem. But it identifies it, which is where change begins. The change has to come in performance assessments of our direct reports. Often the most likeable people aren’t the biggest contributors. Do we have the gumption to rate people we really like lower than people who really contribute. This requires character. Real leadership often comes down to something as simple as that.
How true!
My observation is that, a true leader is one that realizes that competition is with oneself and not with outsiders.
A true leader in my mind is also someone who looks constantly at self improvement as against trying to “climb the ladder” by competing against others.
-sroy